|I decided to start writing and hopefully make it easier for men to gain a better understanding of the world they live in and to break it down into a more logical understanding, improving their values and quality of life.
I’ve been on my personal creative/spiritual journey since 2009, and coming from the normal existence of a man’s life full of ego, pride, don’t show weakness and a false sense of righteousness, it wasn’t an easy transition. It was very hard not to fall back into my old ways, because of the lack of understanding of what this part of my life would mean to me and how it would benefit me.
What I came to know of spiritual people through general observation, before my journey began, is that that they can sit still for long periods of time in one place (meditation), only eat vegetables, the only exercise you can do is yoga, be soft in body and emotions, and I was not drawn to it at all because that blueprint did not fit my lifestyle.
It shows you how little I knew. There are a lot of men in this world who live and have lived a life I’ve lived and can feel it doesn’t work for him anymore and knows change is needed. It’s sad that for many they will only be able to really get to know the more creative/spiritual side of life when their own world collapses and everything that meant a lot to them is lost.
There’s a way to stop hitting rock bottom and start changing your life. But it’s going to take a lot of work and there are going to be a couple of changes needed to take in this information I would like to share.
Listening means not just to hear what I say, but to be willing to change your ways. If you are not going to or are unwilling to change certain things that you created in your mind that kept you safe from being hurt etc., then this is not going to work for you and just frustrate you even more. Put down your ego and ignorance because those behaviours will inhibit your growth to become a better man for your wife/partner/children and yourself.
Remember, I am not here to tell you, you are doing things wrong or to belittle men out there. I am attempting to show you there is an easier way and much more rewarding life to be lived whether you are straight, gay, married, single, regardless of your colour or culture. It doesn’t matter. We all sit with the same shit we have to deal with as men.
By doing the same thing day in and day out and by being in the same toxic situation – work, relationship, friends etc. – or just being stagnant in life and knowing there is more to live for, you will cause disease, suffering and misery. By living a stagnant life you are not going to test yourself and doubt will grow stronger, leaving you with a lot of fear inside. Embrace the true power to move beyond your fear, which is your greatest obstacle.
The challenges we as men sit with today are:
* Hostility: Those feelings come from remembered pain and the desire to get even.
* Fear: That’s the anticipation of pain in the future. This can lead to insecurity and fear of the future.
* Anger: Buried/denied/repressed/suppressed fear
* Guilt: Is the self-directed pain when you blame yourself.
* Depression: is a combination of all of the above.
This is just to name a few things us men struggle with daily.
So, at the end of the day I’m going to try and explain certain alternative ways of living, which I live by, and that promise change as a result of your commitment to wanting to live your best life possible. I honour you men, and I won’t do this if I didn’t believe we can change for the better, thus I’d like to encourage you to keep a look out for my weekly publications, and the first one is below for you to get a taste of what to expect each week.
BALANCE YOUR LIFE
I believe that you cannot have a strong foundation in your life if it’s not balanced. Yet I know there are a lot of men out there who think they are, but aren’t. When imbalance exists in our life it affects our self-worth, inhibits positive abundance and binds us to sometimes uncomfortable and unpleasant situations or people until balance is achieved.
In order to establish balance there are 4 areas you must pay attention to:
you as an individual
your home (family, kids, and immediate family)
your relationships (this is your partner and if you don’t have one, you need to look to the partnership which plays the greatest role in your life)
and career (creativity is related to your career. If you are unemployed or retired then you need to address your creativity and how you are going to invest your energy in that).
Once you have addressed these 4 areas in your life you will have a better understanding of where you lack or over emphasize attention in these 4 areas. It is your duty then to prioritize your time so you can spread your energy equal amongst these areas. I understand that it is sometimes impossible to give the exact amount of hours to each of the 4 areas. So sometimes just include 2-3 quadrants; as long as you make up time where it has been lost or give the areas where you get little time for, quality time, that should make up for the time lost on it.
What I basically want you to look at is:
Not to over work and neglect essential parts of life. So take leave when it’s due and time out on weekends.
Get rid of toxic relationships or situations or things that are not needed in your life.
You cannot expect to move forward in your life without giving up that which has inhibited you, it’s impossible. A lot of you will argue that you cannot have success if you don’t “put in all the hours.” Then my advice is to go and re-look your definition of what success is for you, and if chasing that success with the current pace is sustainable and not going to cause more harm around you. And maybe physical harm through stress to the body. Just remember; greed creates fear and fear creates greed, it’s a vicious circle. Know what you need in life.
Here are some suggestions you can apply which can help you attain and maintain balance going forward in life:
STAGE 1: No matter the madness and stress that’s around you, either physical or emotionally you must find a way to connect with stillness within, being clear-headed – go wherever you find inner silence – running, boxing, cycling, working on your car, drawing, fishing etc. There’s a lot of underestimated power in calmness.
STAGE 2: Be precise in your actions and don’t get distracted by toxic impulses that disempower you, like anger, hostility, retribution, jealousy and fear. By being in touch with and aware of your own emotions, ensures that every intention that comes from that part of you is rooted in emotional balance. Never act self-righteously for self-importance sake, in other words, what we men all understand is “don’t be a dick.”
STAGE 3: The highest form of thinking is creativity. No problem exists that cannot be solved by creativity and should be aligned with your highest ideals and values – like truth, goodness, harmony and evolution. Don’t use your creativity to screw people over, karma is a bitch and she never sleeps.
STAGE 4: When you have gone through these 3 stages action will be executed impeccably and with the intention for a greater good, leaving the result to a greater unknown with total detachment; detachment from expected outcomes specifically, so basically, trust your actions!
By applying these 4 stages in harmony with one another, your actions, behaviour and presence will demonstrate it and lead you to choices that feel intuitively right.
Now I never said this was going to be easy otherwise we would all live in harmony. We have to start somewhere and give it some time to work like everything else in life. Nothing good comes easy.
One thing I came to realize is very important whilst undergoing such a life-changing transition, is support. Thus I am also offering you my services in support of my weekly message.
If you like what I’m sharing here and want to delve deeper and take the big step you know you must, yet also not sure where to start or how to start, I created a support service for $44 per 4 weeks, which includes weekly assignments available, focusing on the theme of my weekly message. As well as a live webinar with me during which time you can ask questions, advice and get to know other men undergoing the same changes.
Please note this is an option, you are not expected to attend and is for support purposes. I am available on every last Wednesday of the month at 2 – 3:30 pm GMT+2/SAST or every last Thursday of the month at 3:30 – 5 am GMT+2/SAST for you to choose which best suits you.
Please visit www.timezoneconverter.com to establish the correct time for your time-zone. Choose Africa/Johannesburg in the first block and then your area in the block beneath it. Hit the convert button and you’ll see the time for you zone in the block at the top of the page.
Should you choose to use this support platform, bear in mind it has been designed to support men like us in a non-judgmental and non-critical environment. I encourage transparent sharing minus the ego.
I am also available on e-mail for support if you prefer a private platform as opposed to the support webinar.
I provide additional “Transition From Old to New” Guidance in the form of one on one weekly Skype sessions, or as per your needs. $55 per hour consultation.
Feel free to share with other men like us looking for more meaning and purpose in life.
For further information, bookings and inquiries please e-mail me on